Once a week I will call my friend just to talk to her (we live far away from each other now), and somehow we will get on the topic of my surgery. I gurantee it. It consumes my every free moment. If I have time I will think about my surgery. I will look in the mirror and then I will start daydreaming about my new appearance. I want this done. I really do, but I am already nervous. I fear everything... What if I get throw up? What if I lose too much blood? What if I hate how I look? What if I can never feel my lip/jaw again? What if I lose too much weight? What if I don't heal quick enough? SERIOUSLY! I have to just shut my brain down in order to get off this topic. Does this happen to any of you? I will start talking about my surgery and my Dad will be like, "It is a year away Makay! We will worry about it then." Then I will shoot back with, "No Dad. It is
9 months away... and if we wait till then we won't have anything ready!", but I guess he is right. I do need to get off the subject. I guess I just want to feel prepared and protected. I know God will take care of me and I need to just relax. Yes, we all need to prepare, but not worry ourselves sick about it. We need to take one step at a time, not everything at once. Notice this blog is called "Makay's Jaw
Journey " not... "Makay's Jaw Step" this is a LONNNNG and tedious process. Surgery anxiety is normal... So this is a note to everyone out there worrying about this... just CHILL OUT! :)
Support and Love Always,
Makay :)