Friday, October 2, 2009

9 Months Away... And Already Nervous...

Once a week I will call my friend just to talk to her (we live far away from each other now), and somehow we will get on the topic of my surgery. I gurantee it. It consumes my every free moment. If I have time I will think about my surgery. I will look in the mirror and then I will start daydreaming about my new appearance. I want this done. I really do, but I am already nervous. I fear everything... What if I get throw up? What if I lose too much blood? What if I hate how I look? What if I can never feel my lip/jaw again? What if I lose too much weight? What if I don't heal quick enough? SERIOUSLY! I have to just shut my brain down in order to get off this topic. Does this happen to any of you? I will start talking about my surgery and my Dad will be like, "It is a year away Makay! We will worry about it then." Then I will shoot back with, "No Dad. It is 9 months away... and if we wait till then we won't have anything ready!", but I guess he is right. I do need to get off the subject. I guess I just want to feel prepared and protected. I know God will take care of me and I need to just relax. Yes, we all need to prepare, but not worry ourselves sick about it. We need to take one step at a time, not everything at once. Notice this blog is called "Makay's Jaw Journey " not... "Makay's Jaw Step" this is a LONNNNG and tedious process. Surgery anxiety is normal... So this is a note to everyone out there worrying about this... just CHILL OUT! :)
Support and Love Always,
Makay :)

5 comments:

  1. I can completely understand where you're coming from Makay! I think about this surgery every spare minute, and of course the 'what if's'. I am coming to terms with it, but no use spending the months up to the surgery in a panic. A good friend of mine always said, "Worrying is like a rocking chair. Sure it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere".

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  2. You are gonna be fine!! I know you can do it, Makay! You are such a strong, beautiful faithful person & you WILL make it through this, I just know it!! :]

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  3. Hi, Makay. I have found that Neutrogena Oil-Free Acne Wash Cleansing Cloths (http://www.neutrogena.com/econsumer/ntg/productdetail.browse?segment=women&catId=1&subCatId=3&productId=125&target=/products/face/oil-free-acne-wash-cleansing-cloths.jsp) are great at clearing up my skin post-surgery. I wish I had started using them before I began breaking out; it probably would have saved me a lot of time and irritation! Other than that, I would try not to touch your face with dirty fingers too often... even though it's tempting when your chin is numb, tingly, and interesting :) Good luck!

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  4. I actually never got my zip n squeeze stuff, and a few weeks after my surgery i filed the claim (i had ordered it about two weeks before the surgery, i think). don't know what's going on with them, and i don't know of another site where you can order the stuff. if anything, just order it way early... maybe they'll get their act together in time!! :)

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  5. Let Go and Let God!!! Chill Makay! God is still on His Throne. :D Your life is so much more interesting than this surgery. A whole nine months for fun living! Enjoy. You are beautiful and will still be after the surgery. Hugs.

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